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On the Verge
By Ariella Papa
It seems everyone has advice on how to get there:
Eve (on keeping her "foot in the door"):
"Develop artificial cheeriness. Answer all requests with 'great.'
Hypothetical: Person of dubious authority: 'Eve, why don't you count all of the paper clips in the entire department and then divide, them into seven equal piles?'
Me: 'Great. I'll get right on it. That'll be great."'
Tabitha (prefers foreign men, gets entrée to the coolest parties, buys lots of underwear):
"Remove unsightly hairs before all dates."
Roseanne (Eve's roommate who works in -- gasp! -- finance):
"Whatever you do, don't be predictable."